The Ultimate Temple of Charles Kerr Hatred

In fact it would be fair to say that he had reached a level of annoyance the like of which had never been seen in the Universe. It was an annoyance of epic proportions, a burning, searing flame of annoyance, an annoyance that now spanned the whole of time and space in its infinite umbrage.

-- Douglas Adams, Life, The Universe and Everything

Welcome to the UToCKH.

This site paints a very graphic picture of a very stupid individual. You will laugh, you will be amazed, you might even be able to touch the surface of the hatred that I feel for Charles Kerr--but you will NEVER plumb the depths. It is here that I should note that everything on this site not designated as speculation is fact.

By the way, did you ever notice that there's always somebody who will (without fail) utterly miss the point of pretty much anything? Ahh well, not everybody can be reasonably intelligent...

A brief profile:


Name: Charles A. Kerr
Age: early 20's
Home: somewhere near Buffalo, New York
Nicknames: Beaker, Freakboy




If you ignore the bodily funk which fills the entire room; If you ignore the
voice which sounds like "Beaker" of Muppet fame; If you can think over the
incessant screenings of the Alvin and the Chipmunks music videos,
Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers and Big Bad Beetleborgs episodes; You can't fail
to be annoyed by the half-baked misogynist ranting which he spews at his
television.

If that's not enough, this person--this pimple on the ass hole of humanity dares
to receive money from the New York state government for being "unemployable"
while at the same time getting college loans from the Feds for the purpose of
attending an expensive art school.  At this school Charles majored in Computer
Animation.

Contacts indicate that Charles is no longer at said school.  If CK is actually
working in the industry it is most likely in the role of "creepy guy chained up
in the basement doing tweens and talking to his stapler".

This picture was found on his computer.  It appears to be an edited promo shot
of the character Azeem from the movie Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.
The face and hands belong to Charles Kerr.

I lived with Charles Kerr for about a year while attending said school. The building we lived in was an apartment complex sub-let by our school.

Now we've all had it happen to us. Some friend just won't stop talking about how much they hate their roommate. Either you disagree with them or simply have no opinion on the subject because you haven't lived with the person. "The worst punishment is being trapped in a room with your friends" and all that jazz. Charles Kerr is not one of these cases. With few exceptions, every person I have told about CK has almost immediatly grown to loathe him. Those who have actually met him bring up the subject of physically destroying him with no prompting from myself.

One may ask "So what's the point of this site anyway?" It all started when I first realized my hatred for my roommate--Charles Kerr (referred to here as "CK") and attempted to express it to friends, reletives, co-workers, people on the street, etc. Due to the sheer volume of information I had on CK, attempting to relate these things over and over quickly became cumbersum. And thus the idea for this site was born.

Really inquisitive people may ask "Why did you subject yourself to a year of CK if you hated him so much?" That's a very long story but I will attempt to summarize. I would have simply moved out but I couldn't afford to move my phone line (I had already gotten it moved before I fully realized just what a freak I was living with). I complained to the department in charge of the apartments in an attempt to get CK kicked out for his incredibly unhygenic habits. This was (of course) impossible because the Housing Bitches (TM) at my school had taken a dislike towards me. A dislike they carried to an incredibly unprofessional extreme. The details of this were to be my next web project before I found better ways to spend my time.

Navigate the site using the links at the top and bottom of each page. If you enjoy it, you may also enjoy it's "sister" The Wisdom of Doug Dykehouse.

April 11, 2000
"Dear Housing Bitches: The roommate you gave me doesn't believe in bathroom hygiene, hates the Chinese and Patricia Richardson, spreads shredded cheese and grease all over the kitchen and won't stop singing the Jon Secada song parody he wrote. Please kill him. Or kill me."

Be sure to visit:
HUMPIN.ORG